Grammar Pulis

You ask: “I hope you find solace in the love and support of your wonderful family and friends such as Rick and _____??” Is it I or me that goes in the blank?


Grammar Pulis Answers:

The quick answer to your question is this. The correct way to say it is:

I hope you find solace in the love and support of your wonderful family and friends such as Rick and me.

To explain:
The pronoun you use depends on the case.

Subject Case = I, You, She, He, They
Object Case = Me, You, Her, Him, Them
Possessive Case = My, Mine, Your, Her, Hers, His, Their

Let me explain further:

Subject Case = I, You, She, He, They
Use when the pronoun is the subject of the sentence or when the pronoun renames the subject.

Examples:
* I am here.
* Here I am.
* Knock, knock. Who is it? It is I.
* It is she who killed the butler.
* My cousin and I gasped when we saw the corpse.
* You and I are against the world.

Say these only when you want Grammar Pulis to handcuff you and slap you with a grammar violation fine:
* Here na me; where na you? (Filipino texters' atrocious use of the language)
* Me and my cousins are in shock.
* You and me against the world. (There's also a missing verb there somewhere.)

Object Case = Me, You, Her, Him, Them
Use when the pronoun is used as an object of verbs or prepositions, or in cases when the pronouns are neither subject nor possessive.

Examples:
* My instinct told me to dodge and run.
* There is tension between my boss and me.
* Everybody loves me.
* Everybody is against me.
* People like her always get away with murder.

Please don’t say:
* The bullet was meant for you and I.
* It is me who killed the butler.

Possessive = My, Mine, Your, Her, Hers, His, Their
Use to indicate possession.

Examples:
* All the blame is mine.
* The petty thief ran away with my empty wallet.
* Everything in the house is either his or hers.


Sometimes we get confused about the cases. What you can do is play the “Will it sound funny if...” game.

Will it sound funny if I remove the other noun or pronoun?

I hope you find solace in the love and support of your wonderful family and friends such as I.

You have to agree that sounds funny. (As I typed above, MS Word put a green, zigzag line under I and suggested me instead.)


Will it sound funny if I replace the first person pronoun with a third person?

I hope you find solace in the love and support of your wonderful family and friends such Rick and she.

Her (third person object case), instead of she, sounds infinitely better, which means, you use the first person object case me.

Now, if all above is confusing to you, just rephrase the sentence to convert it into something you can be comfortable with.

I hope you find solace in the love and support of your wonderful family and friends. Rick and I are here to comfort and help you.

Sources:
The Elements of Style by Strunk and White
Better English by Betty Kirkpatrick
http://www.grammarbook.com/grammar/pronoun.asp

When it comes to grammar, I find myself sweating the small stuff too much too often. For instance, in a yahoo group I am part of, I always cringe when I read, "We are in need of accountants." I admit this is grammatically acceptable, but if one wants to arrest verbosity and write clearly and concisely, one should just say, "We need accountants." You save two words. To me, that is a big deal. I don't understand why people can't just go straight to the point in the least number of words as possible.

"In need" sounds to me more applicable in desperate or in impoverished situations. "The typhoon left the community in need of relief goods." "He is so obnoxious; he is in desperate need of a self-help book."

And this tirade is brought about by reading new twists to this pet peeve. Take these subject lines I just read: "Still need of accountants," and "Need of help." Arrrrghhhh! Be still, my raging heart. What's with this superfluous use of the preposition of? Do they get reward points for frequent use? And in these intances, I can no longer say that these are grammatically acceptable. They are reprehensible. Criminal. And this angry vigilante has kept still long enough. I just want to call them out.

Okay, okay. I am usually not this vicious. I just needed to get that out of my system. Whew.





I feel better now. Thanks.